With the economy in a serious slump, jobs are difficult to get. But at the same time, it behooves employers to evaluate their employees carefully. With many businesses in a precarious condition, unsatisfactory employees can only make things worse. And with many qualified persons seeking work, replacing an unsatisfactory employee with a better one may be easier than it was in former years.
In this connection, it is well to remember that government officials are our employees. And no sane person would argue that the condition of America is so strong that it could not be improved. With Election Day coming up on November 6, the time is short in which to evaluate our employees.
Here we must include the president. Should his contract be renewed for another four years, or should we let him go? In the latter case, we can console ourselves that his prospects for employment elsewhere are excellent. Just look and the lecture and consulting fees that former presidents command.
As an aid to making our decision, and with apologies to Superman, I present these criteria for evaluating our employees, including those occupying the highest offices.
CRITERIA FOR EMPLOYEE EVALUATION
|Outstanding||Above average||Satisfactory||Needs help||Fire at once|
|Fights for truth, justice and the American way||Believes he should fight evil||Believes others should fight evil||Believes it is evil to fight||Denies there is an American way|
|Leaps tall buildings with a single bound||Leaps tall buildings with a running start||Leaps short buildings with no antennas||Stumbles when attempting to leap||Leaps from one position to another with ease|
|Stronger than a locomotive||Stronger than a bull||Almost as strong as a bull||Spreads the product of the bull||Believes weakness is better than strength|
|Faster than a speeding bullet||As fast as a speeding bullet||Would you believe a slow bullet||Misses target when trying to shoot||Afraid to touch gun|
|Has x-ray vision||Has acute vision||Has normal vision||Needs eyeglasses||Can’t distinguish friends from enemies|
|Talks to God||Talks to the angels||Talks to himself||Argues with himself||Loses these arguments|
|Reads the Bible and the Constitution||Reads thrillers||Reads comic books||Reads liberal newspapers||Believes liberal newspapers|
|A natural leader||Studied law||Writes memos||Believes in leading from behind||Bullies the weak and bows to the strong|
|Helps others to be independent||Allows others to be independent||Wants to be independent||Satisfied to be dependent||Pushes others to be dependent|
|Does his best when no one is watching||Does his best when people are watching||Does just enough when people are watching||Does little even when people are watching||Pretends to do something when people are watching|
|Creates wealth||Helps others to create wealth||Allows others to create wealth||Confiscates wealth others create||Believes creating wealth is wrong|
|Walks on water consistently||Walks on water in emergencies||Washes with water||Drinks water||Passes water in emergencies|
Dr. Stolinsky writes on political and social issues. Contact: email@example.com. You are welcome to publish or post these articles, provided that you cite the author and website.