With the economy in a feeble recovery, jobs are difficult to get. But at the same time, it behooves employers to evaluate job applicants carefully. With many businesses in a precarious condition, unsatisfactory employees can only make things worse. And with many qualified persons seeking work, replacing an unsatisfactory employee with a better one may be easier than it was in former years.
In this connection, it is well to remember that government officials are our employees. We are their employers, not their servants. And no sane person would argue that the condition of America is so strong that it could not be improved. With Election Day coming up on November 8, the time is short in which to evaluate the candidates.
Think of Bernie “free health care, free college” Sanders. But who pays for all the “free” stuff – the middle class, as usual? Think of Hillary “we didn’t lose a single person in Libya” Clinton. No, we lost four, including our ambassador. Think of Donald “I made a lot of money” Trump. True, but what else can he do? Think of Ted “I’m more conservative than you” Cruz. Maybe, but is that a plus or a minus in the general election?
If you were the personnel officer – excuse me, the human resources coordinator – which one would you hire? Or would you not hire any of them and continue searching? But take care – the decision is crucial.
As an aid to making our decision, and with apologies to Superman, I present these criteria for evaluating our job applicants, including those seeking the highest offices.
CRITERIA FOR EMPLOYEE EVALUATION
Outstanding | Above average | Satisfactory | Needs help | Fire at once |
Fights for truth, justice and the American way | Believes he should fight evil | Believes others should fight evil | Believes it is evil to fight | Denies there is an American way |
Leaps tall buildings with a single bound | Leaps tall buildings with a running start | Leaps short buildings with no antennas | Stumbles when attempting to leap | Leaps from one position to another with ease |
Stronger than a locomotive | Stronger than a bull | Almost as strong as a bull | Spreads the product of the bull | Believes weakness is better than strength |
Faster than a speeding bullet | As fast as a speeding bullet | Would you believe a slow bullet | Misses target when trying to shoot | Afraid to touch gun |
Has x-ray vision | Has acute vision | Has normal vision | Needs eyeglasses | Can’t distinguish friends from enemies |
Talks to God | Talks to the angels | Talks to himself | Argues with himself | Loses these arguments |
Reads the Bible and the Constitution | Reads thrillers | Reads comic books | Reads liberal newspapers | Believes liberal newspapers |
A natural leader | Studied law | Writes memos | Believes in leading from behind | Bullies the weak and bows to the strong |
Helps others to be independent | Allows others to be independent | Wants to be independent | Satisfied to be dependent | Pushes others to be dependent |
Does his best when no one is watching | Does his best when people are watching | Does just enough when people are watching | Does little even when people are watching | Pretends to do something when people are watching |
Creates wealth | Helps others to create wealth | Allows others to create wealth | Confiscates wealth others create | Believes creating wealth is wrong |
Walks on water consistently | Walks on water in emergencies | Washes with water | Drinks water | Passes water in emergencies |
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