Minnesota Supreme Court Upholds Walz-Backed Law for Felons’ Right to Vote

So the court approved the law backed by Gov. Tim Walz that gives convicted felons the right to vote. But why not, you ask? If undocumented immigrants are voting, as surveys show, then citizenship loses all meaning. If a convicted murderer or armed robber wants to vote for president, who are we to say no? If a convicted child molester wants to vote for criminal court judge, why not?

The vivid reds, whites, and blue have faded, like clothes washed too often in hot water and bleach. The bland, pastel mess inspires neither patriotism nor loyalty, but merely apathy. Foreigners voting? Convicts voting?

What next? AI voting? Oh wait, we already had that. The Harris-Walz ballots are already being printed and filled in, and the software is being programed as we speak. The only question remaining is by how much should Harris-Walz win. So why be upset that convicted felons vote? The contest becomes meaningless when the outcome is predetermined. It is as if the Olympic Committee announced the medals before the event.

But wait. These worries should inspire not apathy but resolve, even anger. You let felons and non-citizens vote? Then more of us will vote. Every bleeping one of us will vote. And we’ll personally hand our ballots to the election officials. No excuses will be accepted. See you on November 5.