Buy Whatever Car You Want – April Fool

• Last year: Buy a Tesla or other electric vehicle to save the planet. Elon Musk is a genius environmentalist.

• This year: If you buy a Tesla, or even drive one you got years ago, we will trash your car and possibly assault you. Elon Musk is Hitler, and we will carve a swastika on your car. Oh wait, Trump is Hitler, and Musk is his helper. Well, no matter, all conservatives are Nazis.

So we tell you to buy it, and then we tell you not to buy it. Do you get the idea that in our minds, the environment runs a poor second to politics? Do you get the idea that what we tell you to do is not important? What is important is that we tell you to do it.

We are not really environmentalists. We are not really political activists. We are really control freaks. First we say yes, then we say no. And you’d better do what we say, or else we will burn down your dealerships, trash your vehicles, and threaten you.

What we hate is not Trump, or Musk, or conservatives, or polluters. What we hate is personal freedom.