Aspinall Eye Poke

• If this is women’s basketball in the WNBA, I think I’ll watch something else, maybe reruns of “Chicago Fire.”

• If this is MMA, I think I’ll watch something else, maybe reruns of “Chicago PD.”

• If I want to see an alley fight, I’ll hang around alleys. If I want to see a bar fight, I’ll frequent bars. But if I want to watch sports, I’ll have to be satisfied with reruns. Too sad for words.